Poem: The Great Christmas Rant of all Rants

I told him
that I was going out
to finish my
Christmas shopping.
I got a
long heated rant
of how he doesn't like crowds
or people

the chaos, the headache
the parking roulette
crazy drivers
long lines
sullen shopkeepers
canned music
artificial snow
and on and on and on

Long gone are the days
of window shopping
and small stores
and groups of carolers
smiling children
hot cocoa
the festive atmosphere
goodwill towards men

--I just stood there
for a moment
and I looked him 
in the eye
and I said:
"I know...
that's why I didn't ask you
to come along."

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