An Eighth Shot of Espresso: Coffee and Creativity on Mum's Third Shift

I told him that I was going out to finish my Christmas shopping. I got a long heated rant of how he doesn't like crowds or people the chaos, the headache the parking roulette crazy drivers long lines sullen shopkeepers canned music artificial snow and on and on and on Long gone are the days of window shopping and small stores and groups of carolers smiling children hot cocoa the festive atmosphere goodwill towards men --I just stood there for a moment and I looked him  in the eye and I said: "I know... that's why I didn't ask you to come along."

Wrapping paper gift boxes for: Lego sets wooden models fluffy blankets stuffed animals warm slippers a skateboard markers and construction paper glass ornaments illustrated Bible Grinch-shaped cookies generic gift cards reindeer poop marshmallows raisin coal And for the trip to family: neck pillows shot glasses bottles of sake'

Gingerbread smell wafts through the house the oven is like a furnace pans of cookies come out little men decorated with colored frosting and googly eyes so Grandma can stare in horror and shout "they're looking at me!" Fudge with espresso powder and one batch with marshmallows several tries result in burnt black bottoms in the saucepans but the end result is worth it when it turns out just perfectly. Christmas carols from the TV defrosting Mariah Carey to the jazzy tunes and operatic orchestras as the coffee machine is kept forever warm hot water for cocoa and coffee as we wrap up cookie boxes for gifts. A tradition stretching back almost three decades some years just the basics: gingerbread, sugar, chocolate chip other years with cheese sticks, seafoam, crisp and chewy cookies always a hit with the families almost expected year after year but the kitchen is always warm with freshly baked goods.

 I long for gatherings round the fire the laughter of children the merriment of grown ups. Updates on the year what shenanigans have you been doing from January to November. Food on the table perhaps not the most expensive meat or the choicest bottles of wine. Carols sung by the piano as the light sparkles on the ornaments adorned on the tree. Good cheer and whatever grievances stoked during the year are set aside for this one time. Did that really exist? A time of peace and goodwill between us? Or did it only exist in my mind?

The holidays have started Christmas music loud and clear all the parking spaces filled relatives near and dear. Some of us are filled with hope that this spirit fills us with joy as we wrap up all the presents all the teddy bears and toys. But some of us look on with dread the ghosts of past and present weigh so much and memory of bad times heavy mixed with darkness and some such. The old year's end, the new one's nigh the day begins to grow dark although we try to start again the past still leaves its mark.

   Today we put up the Christmas tree A lifetime's worth of ornaments From travels past and life goes on so many ones I just forgot but there is one that hangs right there a simple globe of Mother Earth with "Peace" engraved in golden script is it achievable in the here and now? It's times like this that I wonder.

Jolly pumpkin in August They already have Halloween on the shelves Ghosts and ghouls are there year round They don't wait for October. The next aisle over are red holly berries in green leaves stockings and figurines Might as well set up your winter wonderlands while it is a hundred degrees outside. And turkeys go gobble gobble on placeholder napkins and gravy boats for Grandma's evening dinner complete with cranberry jelly. I wonder if they all get confused: Spooky ghosts haunt Santa's elves while being pursued by a clueless turkey.