An Eighth Shot of Espresso: Coffee and Creativity on Mum's Third Shift

cup of coffee  gone cold  forgotten  in the bustle  of life  and then  when it is  drunk  it sits bitter  in your mouth pastry half-eaten sits on a tiny plate crumbs  on the desk where the screen glows brightly and words refuse to flow.

What does  your fortune tell you?  Do you believe   in that sort of thing?  My Chinese grandmother  consults the Tao Te Ching  my best friend pulls out  her tarot cards  Do the stars  really shape  who you become? Is it all already written? Or do you struggle against the flow of time and defy the tide of a concrete fate?

whimsical humor  suppressed for years  I was too frivolous too loud and too obnoxious way too much for such a quiet and retiring personality there was too much to do bills to pay children to raise jobs to perform I learned not to laugh so loud or stand out in a crowd because that made him uncomfortable but now that more  than five decades have passed I've decided that  I am too old  to not enjoy life  and become  the person I was  meant to be

blood is life  and an obligation  when loyalty  is placed above reason  the family banner  unfurls over your existence  and casts a long shadow  an intangible sense of honor becomes all encompassing and a way to ensure power is in the correct hands when your fate is already written in the stars how do your actions make a difference? At least that's what they tell you. Only when the balance tips way too far and life becomes too intolerable do things change A righteous tradition  is not always a just one.

lambent light  from the glowing lantern  it lifts the shadows  lingering on the path  so late at night. look beyond the trees and do not laugh lest the ghosts beyond  who are lost to time  leave a lasting impression.

Too many books  too few shelves piled up on the floor on the living room table so many pages to read husband sighs  looks at the pile  of new books  on the nightstand  he jokes at how  orphaned tomes just leap into my hands  because they somehow know  I will give them a good home.

He regaled us with his tales  as the snow fell outside  the fire crackled in the hearth  as we all sat in utter delight  at the tales he spun to entertain us all. We waited with bated breath the heroes on their journey in fantastical lands of light and dark their struggle against good and bad we cheered at all their victories. A story with song and voice resonating off the walls and rafters a magical performance that is not easily forgotten and remembered fondly at every chilly night.

aperture where light  comes in  and translates  a vision  into reality a world opens up and mind experiences a different view but each encounter is a wholly unique way to see life enfold.

soothe the savage heart  remind them of a calm river  at the end of a storm  rolling water with angry rapids  eventually calm down  but it is still moving the energy is still there just under the surface it has not disappeared on the contrary it fuels it forward pushes it into tributaries makes it overflow its banks pushing fertile silt so plants can grow it races to the bay then to the ocean to join more powerful tides and bring change to the rest of the world  

The thrum of an engine  well-tuned to specs  it purrs like a kitten it rumbles like soft thunder it feels like a smooth whiskey  poured at the bar  in a jazz club  barely noticeable in the moment  but at that first vibration  or that first sip from the glass or at the first rev of the pedal  a warm comforting feeling your soul says "There it is."

Ragged and broken eggshell edges tossed into the compost heap  it protected  a fragile yellow yolk even as thin and fragile as it is that makes it easily crushed its usefulness ended time breaks it down into elements but in death  springs new life  so in the long run they were not  that useless  after all

A writer like me  scribbling words  words and words  for others to read  digest and analyze  An artist like me  paint on canvas  pen on the screen  for others to see  judge and criticize  A musician like me strum softly on strings or warble a beloved tune for others to hear and enjoy sing and dance That is who I see  deep within the depths  of the electronic sea  I smile when I view  their creative works

 CODICIL:  Added at the end of a straightforward message, there comes note to the solicitor: "At the end of the day  I could reveal  all sorts of secrets  written in my will  but that would double  the size of the document  so come with me  on a trip down memory lane   use the map enclosed  and the clues within  to unlock these truths  for yourself." Would it be riches? Scintillating gossip? Even if you gain nothing, it would be an adventure.

Heavy is the head  that wears the crown  at least that is how the saying goes a literal circlet or a metaphorical  headpiece on your brow A weight on your soul a burden on your neck it is a beautiful chain  that binds your soul  and you can never  find peace in your life  for you must always  be alert for those  who would take it.

Dunkin Donuts holiday specials all prepared  so early  in the morning covered with sprinkles grab a couple with a cup of coffee for the morning commute into work Krispy Kreme  watch as they  make them by hand  travel down the conveyor belt stacked into boxes some drizzled with  glaze or covered with sprinkles  take a dozen home  still warm from the fryer

Do you think that one day  our bones will grace  the exhibits of some  futuristic museum  mislabeled and misidentified as their docents drone about our foibles and our mistakes because we managed  to makes ourselves extinct and the archeologists puzzled out the time of events and they become  a warning  for whoever arrives  after us?

I drink both  tea and coffee Dual worlds  every time  I put on the kettle  or grind the beans  just like I put  malt vinegar  on my chips  and cheese  on my burger. I use the lift up and the elevator down My apartment has flat floors. Aluminium or aluminum that extra syllable confounds my friends an extra 'u' in 'favour' with so much flavor confusing for them and me.

A diverse group  with different ideas  all brought together  to solve a problem  has more of a chance  to find an effective solution  than one who constantly  tries the same tactics  that have failed in the past. So why is this not done? History teaches us that the most effective answers can be taken from the past and adjusted for the present and changed for the future. Flexibility is the key and seeing it from angles can reveal complications. A simple response: Ego and arrogance get in the way of effective solutions no matter how wealthy no matter the cost the need to protect oneself the veneer of control will override a common good.

she is bewildered:  who are these people  who visit her every day  they tell her their names  but why can she not recall  they are still strangers she puts down her phone but then cannot find it it's not where she left it the house is haunted bad spirits move things she asks the same questions gets the same answers I'm getting old, she laughs this happens to everyone you can't blame me for it. I got lost just one time road construction changes how everything looks nothing is how it  used to be. But don't you worry these episodes don't last I'm just fine and I don't need help I can take care of myself

Youthful optimism  a chance to change the world  find cures for old diseases meet new people  see a different outlook visit faraway places  blaze a new trail up a sacred mountain try odd cuisine strange flavors on  the tongue cherish the history of peoples all over learn from their mistakes to avoid strife in the future witness history as it unfolds in front of your eyes.   but like gold that tarnishes  and iron that rusts with time  shelve naive thoughts  for the world no longer  feels safe to explore.

Nervous  before the curtain rises  all muscles tense in anticipation  dancers keep moving so their muscles  stay limber musicians tune to the perfect note actors pace or visualize their perfect opening night however you prepare for the night the crowd hushes then the lights come up and the audience applause  fills you with a strange calm  as you focus on the performance

a rebellious soul  doesn't follow  the conga line  the stiff armed step dance or the ballet chorus  they are the ones  who dances with  a margarita glass  in hand  as the sun goes down the ones who taps their fingers to the beat subtly as the taps ring out on the floor and the one with the red tutu and the rose in her hair  who does pirouettes  from the rafters

he says he'll make adobo  looks up recipes  on the internet  instead of asking  his Filipina wife...  it's the thought that counts I guess but my ancestors  are screaming  in my ear  this isn't adobo  it's lo mein  with some  adobo seasoning  and I cry internally.

kooky ideas  not accepted by  the mainstream unconventional outrageous uncontrollable   tradition scorns what is different merits are debated results are compared some fall by the  wayside   others prove  their merit  and shake the  foundations  of what is known knowledge is advanced The novelty   of a brand new  and shiny toy  what happens  when the glimmer fades and the  color not as  vibrant as it was  before? it becomes  common sense. 

A passport to other lands  other ways of thinking  seeing and feeling Fresh perspectives, new ideas.   broaden your horizons  no man is an island it takes a village the lone adventurer Immovable stones are worn down by time, wind and rain become diamonds with pressure that all sounds so cliche so many roll their eyes but it's quite important  now more than ever Reach out and explore yes it takes effort for life does not  just come to you Songs yet unsung paintings yet unmade the possibilities are endless it takes so much courage The first step is the hardest to leave the familiar behind but to free your soul and mind you must decide to go there.

Crickets: they are loud in their silence. they say do what you love  and happiness will  come to you  I'm too old for  this popularity contest I'm not in junior high I don't need all this  justification for  my pen, my brush my worlds my characters my ideas but deep inside  I don't want to be  ignored.

They told us  go to college get a degree  and a good job buy a house have your own family and you will live the dream of a productive life  and only after then  think about what  you want...  well, Mum,  I did what you wanted. look at me  can you honestly  say that I am happy?

This is the lounge a private room  where magic happens  and stories are written  where fates are decided I created you nurtured and shaped you but somehow, some way you took the reins and dictated your own destiny You found your voice told me all your secrets what I need to know what I need to do my pen continues its path. tonight you and me  sit opposite each other across the table  with glasses of champagne  in our hands

Walk the snowbound path  the mountain beckons  as you journey round and round  in a spiral encircling the tor  the sun rises in the east and sets in the west just like any other day the moon high in the sky sometimes hidden in the clouds but it is always there watching and waiting weighing your journey the scenery seems the same  but if you look carefully  the view is different  with each rotation the sun's angle changes the moon's face becomes full then wanes before it is gone again You feel like you are just going in circles until the path grows shorter the time goes faster until you reach the view at the top and it all finally stops.

fertile ideas are planted  but they need to be nurtured  in good soil and watered  if the temperature dips gentle hands cover them or bring them inside to protect against frost even as they sprout the work is not yet finished the tender shoots of thought are fragile and easily crushed disease attack the roots pests feed upon the leaves and those must be dealt with before the damage is done those who withhold the rain  and cloud up the sky  do not want the new ways  to bloom...  ...but nature will do it regardless.

The prompt word is balderdash balderdash: senseless talk or writing; nonsense Just a strongly worded  disapproval  is balderdash  words carry weight  but action is what gives meaning  to principles  that are only  theoretical  at this point  to talk about nothing is a useless gesture an evil does not stop at a mere proclamation on a piece of paper or on a social network the question becomes:  what's really stopping you?

Why does a strong woman  means emasculation  for a certain type of man?  Is he so damn insecure  that he sees shadows  around every corner  and challenges to his fragile masculinity?  A book that proclaims that a man is the master of his destiny and the dominator of all creation is written by men. Is he so arrogant that he believes Nature will always bend to his will? I think we all know  the answer to that.